Road Trip!

We survived. A fourteen-hour road trip from CA to ID in two days with four boys four and under.

We've done road trips before and I've learned a few tips along the way. I always go to the dollar store ahead of time and get a few toys to pull out at intervals so they have something new to look at. I stock a hefty snack bag with fruit, crackers, apple sauce cups, cereal, granola bars - easy things that I can chuck into the backseat when the whining starts.

The two older boys also each pack their own little bags of things to do. They have gotten pretty good at it. The four-year-old finally knows what types of things will keep him busy in the car and packs accordingly. The three-year-old is still a little confused. I checked his suitcase before we left and found one shoe and a handful of mismatched game pieces. I helped him repack.

When we start our trip this is what goes into the van:

But despite my best efforts those neat little packages somehow explode into this:

Little boys have an amazing ability to transform anything into a pile of trash. At every gas station I threw away twice as much stuff as I brought. It's a phenomenon. I think I was more impressed than annoyed.

I have to say that overall the trip went smoothly. Bathroom stops were a challenge. Although 50% of our children are potty trained road trips always throw them off.

Three-year-old Georgie has an amazing knack for articulating tricky concepts like constipation.

During one bathroom stop Dave took three of the boys in by himself.

Three happy boys filed in...

...and three happy boys filed out. Child number two was completely unaware that he was naked from the waste down and was not wearing shoes. Dave didn't notice it either until they had walked all the way back through the gas station and were almost out the door. Proof that boys think clothes are completely unnecessary.

We always tried to combine stops: Meals, fuel, bathroom all in one shot. But it's very hard to plan when you are traveling with little ones. When you have to stop, you have to stop. At one such stop we pulled off at a Burrito Bandito. Have you had the Bandito experience? Nothing compares. It is outstanding. But those burritos should come with a warning label. Let's just say they take comfort food to a very uncomfortable level. Even poor baby Charlie was not digging Bandito milk. He told me - at 12am, 2am, 4am, and 5am.

That being said, meals were a fun way to break up the trip. We create quite a scene when we go to restaurants. We're used to it. We usually get a lot of smiles and giggles and the occasional raised eyebrow. But on this trip we experienced something new: cold hard stares. One couple sat behind us and stared the whole time without a hint of a smile. They didn't even try to hide it. That awkward moment when you make eye contact and expect them to look away...and they don't. I could draw a picture, but Dave captured them on camera.

I'm sorry, I can't help laughing when I see this picture. Who could be upset at those sweet brothers? Maybe it wasn't our boys. Maybe they were just experiencing the Bandito effect a little early.

I was impressed at how well the boys kept themselves entertained. I did hear the occasional squabble. Despite all the toys we had brought I was surprised to learn that the cause of the argument was an empty gum wrapper. From the backseat:

William: Fine! You can have it this time. But when we get to Idaho it's MY turn.

Peter, the two-year-old, had the hardest time. He was too young to pace himself or just enjoy the scenery. And he had to sit in the middle to be near Mommy because I have incredible aim with the barf bucket. He did great all day on our first day of travel. Then, when I was distracted booking a hotel, it happened. I turned around and realized I missed the whole Bandito burrito. I'm surprised the hotel accepted us in the horrific state we arrived in, but it turned out to be a wonderful stay. We pulled into our new home late the next night. We are truly blessed to have kids who are always up for an adventure. I know there are many more in store for these little guys.

Moms and Dads

In a house with four little boys efficiency is key. When there's a job that needs doing you've got to get it done fast. My day functions like an over-active assembly line: First baby up, diaper changed, down. Second baby up, diaper changed, down. Breakfast. Load of laundry in. Dishwasher unloaded. Potty train. Discipline. Lunch. Laundry out. Dishwasher loaded. Diaper. Dinner. Discipline. Bed.

My husband is a power house of efficiency on the job front. He has started several companies from scratch and can wear every hat from accountant to marketing director to graphic designer. But it's interesting how this translates to managing the home. I suppose we both wind up with the same outcome, but we approach household tasks very differently.

Mom dishes:

Dad dishes:

Mom laundry:

Dad laundry:

Mom kids:

Dad kids:

Mom diaper:

Dad diaper:

"I'm home! Everything go okay while I was gone?"

"Everything went great!"

Dinner Time

Family dinner time is a beautiful thing.

It's definitely not the most practical way to feed everyone at this stage in life. My husband and I still can't complete a full sentence to each other across the table. I spend more time on my feet than in my chair. Conversation consists mostly of various bartering tactics:

"Eat another piece of broccoli and then you can have bread."
"If I eat my chicken do I have to eat my broccoli?"
"If you drink your milk you can be excused."
"Five bites or four bites?"
"Take one more big bite or two more small bites."

My dad's bartering system was slightly different when I was growing up: "Eat your dinner or I'll kill you." I guess he was old fashioned that way.

If I play my cards right I can get the newborn down for a nap and dinner on the table right when Dave walks in the door. I usually have to restrain the one-year-old in his highchair well before that and keep him busy with some frozen peas while I finish up. The older two run through the kitchen screaming until I finally kick them outside or send them to their beds with books to look at. I don't know how it happens, but at some point we are all finally sitting at the table. Let the meal begin!

William (4): Mommy, why do you have food all over your face? Grown-ups shouldn't get food on their faces.

Me: Well, William, I'm eating corn on the cob. It's hard to keep my face clean when I -

William: You look disgusting.

Me: William, that's not very polite.
William: (muttering) Grown-ups shouldn't look that way. I don't understand.

Dave: Ok, Everyone. Let's take a look at what Bible story we're going to read tonight.

George (3): Oh, Daddy! Tell the one about the giant bunny!!!
Dave: Um.....no, that's not in the Bible.

Dave: Tonight we are going to read the part where Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life."
William: You mean Jesus is life.....CEREAL??

Me: Peter, stop playing with your food and eat it.

Peter: Weenie, corn!
Me: Yes, William is eating corn, too.

"William" is awfully hard for a one-year-old to pronounce. Some nick names are more unfortunate than others. Hopefully this one won't stick through high school.

The boys clear their own spots which is great - but it means I find dishes is random places all over the kitchen. They never put them in the same place. It's a mystery to me. I have also noticed how many clean forks we wind up with at the end of each meal. Apparently the boys think they are for decoration. Peter usually lets me know he's done by turning his bowl/plate upside down and putting it on his head. I've learned that the kitchen sink sprayer is a valuable tool when dealing with toddlers.

Family dinner is like every other part of parenting - messy but worth it.

First Time Moms: 5 Reasons to Relax

"So, what do you DO all day?"

You know those words. Not just because you've probably been asked this, but because you've SAID it (or at least thought it) before you were a mom. Can you remember that far back - before you were a mom? It's actually very hard for me to do, and I've only been a mom for four years. But when I reach back into that distant other life I can see my haggard friend, hair in a messy ponytail, baby over her shoulder. As she absently wipes at some spit-up on her sleeve she says, "I've NEVER been this tired." It confused me...and scared me. The secret life of motherhood was shrouded in mystery. I knew it turned sober women into raging caffiene addicts and sane women into puddles of irratational emotions. But I didn't know why - until I finally went behind the veil and saw what it was all about for myself. Wow. Suddenly it all made sense. Right now I'm going to go back in time to when I had my first baby and give myself a pep talk. Ah, the first baby. That's when mommies are in desperate need of a pep talk. If you've just had a baby or are about to have a baby, feel free to listen in.

First: The ups and downs are NORMAL. Some days will look like this:

Other days will look like this:

Of course you are thrilled to have this glorious new miracle in your life, but don't feel bad if your initiation into motherhood feels similar to being hit by a semi. If you are so tired you can't think straight, haven't showered in a week, and can't remember the last hot meal you had, you are probably doing an excellent job. It means you are sacrificing yourself - mind, heart, and body - for another. This is what love looks like. It's messy. It's uncomfortable. It's indescribably rewarding.

Second: You're not alone. The infant stage is a very lonely time for Mommy. You are up at hours of the night which no living soul should be exposed to. You forget what it's like to converse with adults. And well-meaning comments from others make you feel even lonelier:

"Enjoy every minute of it! It goes by so fast."

"I bet you never knew you could be this happy."

The truth is, these people have been through it, too. But infancy is such a short phase that they forget how intense it is - and you will, too! These comments can make you feel like no one really understands what you're going through. Just nod and smile and tuck it away into the "What not to say to new moms" folder in your brain.

Third: One day your baby will be independent. This is a bittersweet thought. My firstborn is now four. He can dress himself, feed himself, use the bathroom on his own, and entertain himself for hours. But this is what I remember from when he was an infant:

Repeat. 24 hours, around the clock. Babies are born 100% dependent. But that percentage drops a little as time goes by - 99%, then 98%, then 97%.....until the day they are completely independent of you. Every single task you do for your baby now will drop off one at a time until they are adults and there is nothing left to do for them. Nothing but an enjoyable phone call, having them over for dinner, praying for them. The dependence is short lived. Remeber this during the most stressful times.

Fourth: Having the next baby will not be as hard. This is a generalization that many people will jump to argue with, so let me show you what I mean:

First Baby. "Don't eat that!!! It was on the floor! Mommy will get you a new snack."

Second baby. "Well, I guess a few floor cheerios won't hurt."

Third baby. "Good boy!! Eat up all the rest so Mommy doesn't have to vacuum."

If you're in the "baby fog" right now with your first little one, it's easy to think, "I could never do this again. I guess I'm just not cut out to have more than one kid." But you gain perspective. You realize your next baby doesn't need a bath every single day. The next baby doesn't need the constant jingling of baby toys in his face - he wants to be left alone! You realize skipping a nap doesn't mean starting his sleep training from scratch. Right now you are imbalanced - obsessed with and over analyzing every detail of your newborn. And rightly so! This is your training course. But the training will produce a more balanced mommy the second time around. And third, and fourth, and so on.....

Fifth is a simple encouraging list of "you will's":
You will sleep again.
You will go on dates with your husband again.
You will go to the bathroom alone.
You will shop for clothes that don't have to accommodate a nursing bra.
You will have hobbies again.
You will carry on a conversation that doesn't include sound effects.
You will have a home that doesn't smell like spit-up.
YOU will no longer smell like spit-up.
You will live a life not built around naps, feedings, and poop.

You will survive.

Surviving Tricky Toddlers

We are in a fun stage with the kids right now - the "Look what I can do!" stage. I can't count how many times I hear that throughout the day from the older two. The problem is, if one brother says it the other brother refuses to be left out. They will often try to match (if not top) each other. So one new trick is immediately followed by another...often with very different results.

William (4): Mommy, look at my new magic trick!

William: (jump, spin) Yeah!

George (2): Mommy, watch MY new magic trick!

Sometimes George can't think fast enough so he uses whatever is in his hands. I taught him a new magic trick - how to clean apple off the wall and furniture.

Whether he's actually ever tried the trick William is showing me or not, George immediately gives it a try.

William: Mommy, watch me whistle!

Me: Wow, William! That's great!

George: Mommy, watch ME whistle!

I know that to George, there's no difference in the quality of performance. But if he asks you if you want to hear him whistle, just make sure you are standing a few feet away.

Lately they've been getting more clever. Sunday night has to top them all. William had Dave and I sitting on the couch listening to one of his sermons, as he often does.

William: .....So, next Sunday we would like to ask that you each bring a toy to play with during the sermon. And now I will be right back. I'm going to get you some bulletins to look at.

William: (Rustle, rustle, rustle)

He took advantage of the fact that both parents were occupied, sitting on the couch, and he helped himself to a pile of candy. When he came back with no "bulletins" and a sticky mouth full of candy, he realized he was caught. I honestly think he wasn't intending to do that, but when he passed by the candy he couldn't resist. Perhaps he's not quite ready for the ministry yet.

Homeschooling with Teeny Tiny Ones

Our boys are currently 1, 2, and 4 (with a new one due in a few weeks). We jumped into homeschooling a little earlier than most - not because we were bored (!) or because we enjoy torturing ourselves. We actually thought adding some structure to the day would benefit the kids and decrease the number of discipline situations. And guess what? It does! Starting the day with some structured time with Mommy actually makes a difference in their attitudes. It also enriches their playtime later. They feel more productive. And, it "forces" me to spend quality time with them. That might sound terrible, but the structure of simple school activites ensures that I get to interact with them one-on-one other than just making them food, wiping them, and disciplining. If you have tiny ones that seem ready for preschool (or pre-preschool) here are some tips that helped me get started:

1. Set your goals. What do you want your child to know and be able to do by the end of this school year? By the end of this month? Goals will keep you on track. Keep them simple. Remember, it's only preschool.
2. Gather your supplies. Keep a variety of things on hand - visuals (posters and charts), manipulatives (blocks, beads, flashcards), books that YOU read to them, and books that THEY "read" to themselves, educational games, etc.
3. Choose a time and place. What time of day are you the least stressed? That's the best time to grab 20 minutes with the kids for school. Mine is when #3 takes his morning nap. Keep your expectations realistic. If life is busy, don't convert an entire bedroom into a school room and plan on teaching five days a week. You will quickly burn out.

Here is a picture of our "school room."

It is a corner of my laundry room. There are a couple desks behind me in this picture. It's colorful, but simple. I chose this particular spot because it's an area the kids don't usually play in, so I knew it would stay fairly protected. I have to keep the door closed throughout the day for the toddler's sake.

4. Finally, plan on sticking to the same few things every day. Keep it simple and review, review, review! This is not only for the sake of your own sanity, but it's actually better for the kids cognitively at this age. Don't stress about coming up with a creative new activity every single day. Little ones benefit from repetion - and they LOVE it! They know what to expect and it gives them a sense of accomplishment. Information sticks much better in the long run when it's not cluttered up with a bunch of fancy projects in between. Do what comes naturally to you and you will be more likely to be consistent.

Our basic schedule looks like this: Song, verse and catechism review, charts review (colors, shapes, numbers), math with blocks or beads, educational game, reading lesson. It takes about 40 minutes and we plan for four days a week.


The hardest part about homescooling little ones is what to do with the OTHER little ones who are too young for the activites. George, the two-year-old, can join William (4) for most of the activities. Then, when it's time for our reading lesson, I usually send him out to play. Sometimes he has a hard time waiting for us to be done. This morning in particular he was desperate enough to try a new strategy.

George: Georgie, time to come have a snack!

George: Mom, did you call me for snack???
Me: Um, no. But good impersonation of Mommy. That was...creepy.

Sometimes I let him stay for the more advanced part and I let him try out the "big kid" supplies.

It does not usually end well. But, if a two-year-old covered in marker gives me 10 minutes to work on reading with the four-year-old, some days I'll take it. There is no end to Georgie's antics. Someimes he even surprises himself. For example, there is nothing more exciting to little boys than finding out all the sounds their bodies can make. Yet another distraction to a typical school day.

George: Mommy! Mommy! There's a GUN in my bottom!

(Sigh.) Keeping the little ones occupied is a constant challenge. Then there's the actual student himself - William. He takes school very seriously. He is so proud of himself when he learns something new. He is always anxious to show his work.

William: Daddy, look at my letters!

Daddy gets the piece of paper. Mommy gets -

William: Mommy, look at my letters!

- the couch cusions. The furniture store should have a section called "Homeschool Furniture." Everything would be the color of Bic ballpoint pens.

There are days that it seems to explode in my face and I have to throw out the whole school day. But I take those days in order to get to the really "good" school days in between - when William reads a word by himself, or George finally counts to 10 without skipping the number 7. At the end of the day, it's worth it. They are benefitting from it and so am I.