Mom Fail(s)

I knew having three kids in three years would kill a few brain cells, but this is ridiculous. My first mom fail of the week happened during breakfast. I'm not much of a cereal person, but we've been experimenting with it lately and the convenience is quite appealing. The kids were excited to try a new kind this morning. It wasn't until their sweet little tummies were already full of cereal that I looked into the box...and saw it moving.

Yep. After all the hard work I put into teaching my kids not to eat bugs, I actually poured milk on some and served them for breakfast. Go me. It was hard to hide it since I pretty much looked exactly like I do in this picture. William said, "But the little black things are yummy!" I know that for the next month every time I hear, "Mommy, my tummy hurts," I'm going to wonder...is it from those bugs?

My next fail was at the grocery store. The babies were all accounted for and the shopping was done. Success! Time to load up the van.

Checker: Which car is yours, Ma'am?
Me: Um...apparently the one with the door left open.

My family provides a lot of entertainment for our local grocery store. But usually they're laughing at the kids...not at me. Oh well. For the most part the kids are blissfully unaware of my mom fails. They get plenty of love and security...and occasionally bugs for breakfast.

Those are my mom fails for the week. What are yours?? :)

Kids Say the Darndest

Nothing makes you sweat bullets like having an extremely verbal toddler. If you make eye contact with my two-year-old he will most likely tell you a story or tell you a random fact about our family. It's quite endearing. But the older he gets the more nervous I become when someone walks up to me and says, "Do you know what your son said?" This is just a sample of one day with William. Let's start the day with a "where did I come from" question. Sure, why not? Toddlers want to get right down to business.

William: Did I used to be in heaven before I came out of your tummy?
Me: Well, not exactly.

William: Oh. I was just hiding behind your back.
Dave: You weren't anywhere before God made you.

William: Yeah. Nothing happened and all of a sudden I was here. You pulled on Mommy's ears and I popped out.
Me: Yep. And we'll just leave it at that.

William can't WAIT to be grown up. Sometimes his perception of what that will look like is a bit interesting...

Me: William, you have to let Mommy get some work done and then I can play balloons with you and Georgie.
William: But I want to work, too!

Me: You can't work on a real computer until you're a big boy.

William: (sigh) Yeah. Some day I'll be a big fat William. Then I can have my own computer.

Me: Oh, William. You're so special to me.
William: I just licked you.

Me: Um, why?
William: I thought you were dirty.

Life can be tough with two little brothers. Even at a year old Georgie knows how to get a rise out of William.

Me: Uh oh, Georgie. Did you go potty on the floor?
Georgie: Sure!
William: Oh no. Now NO ONE will come to my birthday party!

Me: Ok, William. It's all cleaned up.
William: THANK YOU, Mommy! Let me shake your hand.

Later in the day I tried an idea I found on Pinterest. I "upholstered" the box springs with the bed skirt by nailing the edges to the underside. (I highly recommend this, especially if the box springs is sitting on the ground.)

William: Mommy, be careful!
Me: I will, honey.

William: I don't want you to hurt yourself. You're my special Mommy...my special fool.

At this particular season of life all three boys still need sleep training. I can't dwell on that fact for too long or my brain will explode. It's tough, but they are getting the hang of it.

Dave: So if you stay in your bed all night without getting up to get your sippy, you will get a reward.
William: Oh thank you, Daddy! That's just what I needed!

Turns out it WAS just what he needed. Sometimes I kick myself and think, "If it was that easy why didn't we do it months ago????" Oh well. He's our oldest so he's the test child. As much as I think I'm teaching him, I think he's teaching me much, much more.

Juice

I try to get to a good stopping place in my household tasks before launching into the nap time routine. That way I can take a breather for a few minutes when the kids are down.

Me: Ok, boys. Go choose a story and meet me on the couch.

But sometimes I get sabotaged.

Me: Georgie, cups on the table are no-no.
(If you didn't already know, juice grows exponentially when it spills. You might have had half a glass on the table, but it's a gallon on the floor.)

William: (sigh) My house is such a mess. I don't want to live here anymore.
(Sometimes kids know just what to say. Sometimes they don't and they say it anyway.)

Just Another Thursday

Here's a glimpse into a typical Wallace day. Sometimes I can't believe I get to spend every day with these precious gems. But they certainly keep me on my toes...

We kick off our day with a walk to the baseball field. Two babies in the stroller, one hanging onto the side. This is the way we roll.

I had the crazy idea we could go and come back without getting muddy. When will I learn? If there's mud, my kids will find it. If there isn't any, they'll make some of their own (don't ask me how).

Back at home it's lunch and stories. Time to wind down for nap. But it wouldn't be complete without spilling milk on the couch and leaving a little surprise for Mommy in the bathroom.

After nap I'm feeling ambitious. Target run? Yes! Their naps and feeds are perfectly synced - it's now or never. When we arrive I manage to snag the jumbo cart. This thing was designed for me. I feel empowered...like I'm driving a tank. But as soon as the kids are settled -

I tease Dave that he always only has plan A. But I'm a Thompson. We have plan A-Z for any and every situation. We're not about to go back home. My tank - I mean, cart - won't fit in the bathroom stall, but I have a plan. Safe inside the HUGE family sized fitting room I have each boy take one last drink from the sippy and bid it farewell. Then...we take care of business.

Don't worry, church nursery workers - the sippy is no longer in circulation. William never questioned what we were doing. He simply exclaimed, "I'm so proud of myself!" These are the survival years, folks. Sometimes it's not pretty.

Safe at home, dinner is over and the day is coming to a close. Dave has to work late so I'm left to conquer the evening on my own. Weapons of choice? Finger paints and crayons.

Yes, those are jumbo beads around my neck. My boys know how to make Mommy feel beautiful.

Once the kids are settled in bed for the night (well, for the first shift anyway), I'm released to make a Starbucks run. Thanks, honey. :) Freedom - I can taste it! And it tastes like a salted caramel mocha. But when I get back home the two-year-old is up.

Apparently he heard the van drive away when he was in his bed and he thought Mommy ran away. Nothing some extra snuggles can't fix.

Me: Mommy will never run away from you. I love you.
William: Ok. Can I stay up?
Me: No.

So now it's 9:30pm. The two-year-old went back to sleep but now the baby is up. The Target bags are still not unpacked and there are globs of paint yet to be cleaned up. All signs of a truly successful day.

Breakfast Conversation

William (age 2): Chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows. And pancakes come from pancake cows.
Me: Sounds good to me.

William: But what animal do waffles come from?

Me: Well, actually -
William: Horses? Horse poop?

Dave: Mmm, for me?

Me: Sure. Suddenly I'm not in the mood for waffles.

Mommy's "Murphy's Law" (from personal experience)

Law #1: The day you forget to bring an extra baby outfit will be the day your infant has a blowout...in the middle of church.

Law #2: If you sweep and mop the floor, your two-year-old will fill his pockets with sand and visit each room in the house before you finally notice.

Law #3: The day you introduce your husband's office manager to your infant will be the first day your infant spits up a quart of milk. Not on you, of course.

Law #4: If you go to the trouble of planning a shopping trip, getting a babysitter, shopping for all your groceries and sending all said groceries through the check out, you WILL leave your wallet at home.

Law #5: If you have had a long day and the house is a mess, your husband will walk up to you at 6:59pm and casually say, "By the way, I invited our friends over for dessert tonight."

Law #6: If you scour the sand box for your neighbor's cat poop, you can count on your one-year-old to find the one piece you missed.

Law #7: You will begin receiving compliments and freebies for your pregnancy...but only when you're not pregnant.

Law #8: The day you are a stressed out mess will be the day your toddler tells you that most of the time you look funny, but today you look like a princess.

Daddy's Lullabye

Dave: This little piggy went to...um, this little piggy...Sara, I forgot the tune!

Me: There is no tune.
Dave: Oh. Ok.

Dave: How about Mary had a little lamb...I forgot that tune, too!
Me: Ha ha! I'll let that one drive you crazy for a little while.

Dave: Hm. Mary...Mary had a...Mary had a little lamb...and a wee little lamb was he!

Me: Nope.

Dave: Fine.

Dave: I got it! Mary was a tub of lard, tub of lard, tub of -

Me: Honey, don't sing that! They'll learn it that way and then they'll sing it to their friends.

Dave: But look. It worked. All thanks to fat Mary.