Big Church

A couple of Mommy Reels ago we made our big announcement. Since then we have learned that baby number four is also BOY number four. We can't stop smiling. Four boys?????? Life is such an adventure with the three we already have, we can only imagine what crazy fun awaits us in February.

My mom affectionately refers to our house as "Baby Land." Things can get pretty intense over here, so I'm happy to say that we are slowly graduating past the baby stage in some areas. For example, we now have one child that can put on his own shoes. Believe me, when you live in Baby Land, this is extrememly exciting.

Another part of graduation for our babies is moving into "Big Church." At our church kids have Sunday school after the sermon, allowing them to sit with thier families during the service. Nursery is available up until about 3 years old. William (our oldest) took to the switch very well. He thinks any day he is going to replace the pastor, so he listens intently to keep his theology straight for when the time comes. George....well, we've been nervous about George. (See "Life with a Two-Year-Old" to see why.) But between the choices of over an hour spent with baby toys or learning how to listen to the sermon, we decided it was time.

We learned from training William that less is more when it comes to bringing things for the kids to do. Toys, books, and snacks might keep them distracted, but they don't keep them quite. Lots of "stuff" also defeats the purpose of teaching them how to listen. The idea is not to condition church for the kids, but condition the kids for church. Besides, it's amazing how a two-year-old can keep himself entertained with nothing but some Bibles, hymnals, and bulletins. With a few minor bumps along the way, we've been pleasantly surprised at how George has adapted. For your amusement, here are the bumps.

(Trash)

(Hymnal - thud)

(Bible - thud)

Me (whisper): Go pick those up, Georgie.

Me (intense whisper): No - Mommy's skirt is NOT a fort.

George: Look, Mommy! I drew a rainbow!

George: Look! Another rainbow!
(FYI - Baby wipes can significantly lighten pen marks...if you catch it quickly.)

George: Can I have a snack?
Me: No, sweetie. No snacks in big church.
George: Ok.....how about an apple?
Me: No, I said -

George: ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Me: Ok, why don't you sit on my lap for awhile?

(poke, poke)

George: la la la la la la...........

George: LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!!!!

Gum bridge.

Body bridge.

Me: Ok, George. Time to go. George.....it's over.

George: Hooray!!!!


And after three "talks" with daddy in the bathroom for three separate tantrums, another successful day at church came to an end for our George. Well, until evening service anyway. *sigh*

Life with a Two Year Old

Round two! Our first experience with a two year old was atypical. William was passionate, but very complient and reasonable. George....well, let's just say we're cutting our teeth on the whole two year old experience with George. If I could sum up the life of a two year old in one word it would be "no." Another great word would be "independence." A great quality! ...But one that needs a LOT of guidance. When you are trying to encourage independence and obedience at the same time, it's a fine line for a two year old. Parents don't even know where to draw the line sometimes!

Me: Hold Mommy's hand, George.

George: I will hold THIS hand.

Me: Sit by Mommy, George.

George: I will sit HERE.

Dave and I try to say yes as often as we can so we can save "no" for the important stuff. We want George to thrive on being independent. BUT we are training him to accept help when necessary and also how to ask respectfully if he can do it himself. If he slams the fridge shut because I opened it before him, that needs to be corrected. As soon as your kids can talk, teach them this phrase: "Can I please do it myself?" Kids love to mimic so take advantage of it and teach them how to respond correctly. "Be respectful" doesn't mean much to a two year old. They need specific, practical tools - word for word instruction. George still doesn't usually pull this phrase out at the right time, but I'm starting to hear it more often. Usually this is what I hear:

George: I will put on my shoes!

George: I will wash my hands!

George: I will wipe William!!!

Independence, yes. Wiping his three year old brother, no. There are just some things you can't bend on. Speaking of potty training, two is the age we start thinking about it. George is very verbal for a two year old. Combine that with the delicate task of potty training, and it becomes quite interesting. Right now we are in the denial stage.

William: Mom, George is poopy!
Me: George, did you poop?

George: No. I changed my mind.

Me: George, I know you're poopy.
George: No. The poops are all dead.

*sigh* If only it were that easy, George.

Recently we took a long road trip with the whole fam.

The three year old could not stop asking questions the whole way. If you have a two year old, you know that they don't deal in questions - only facts.

George: There is a rhinosaraus behind that tree.

For every thirty of William's questions, we would get a factual statement like this from George.

He's a man who knows his mind. If you ask George a direct question, you can be sure you will get a direct answer.

Me: Georgie, what should we name the new baby?
George: God.

George: No. Bob. Bob the Builder.

Age, birth order - none of that matters to a two year old. If he's two, he's the boss. A two year old will wield the word "no" like a club, attempting to destroy every obstable in the way. George thinks he has the exclusive rights to this word.

Me: No, George.
George: Don't say no.

These conversations never end well for George. But no matter how often he repeats his mistakes, we seek to be consistent in our responses and standards. We want to do right by our beautiful brown-eyed treasure, and that means pointing him to Who really is the Boss - his and ours. It will be a life long process of encouraging him in the right path.

Fruit of the Womb

William: Georgie, did you know Jesus walked on water?
Georgie: No. It was juice.

Nothing like a little theological debate to get the morning started.

Dave and I had a debate over an article in the paper a couple months ago.

Me: Honey, did you see this? Americans are currently not having enough children to replace themselves. Our population is shrinking drastically!
Dave: Yep.
Me: Dave...we should do something about this.
Dave: Oh boy. We should have never taught women how to read.
Me: Don't you want to have another baby?
Dave: Honey...I'm playing a video game.

Regardless, the Wallace family is doing our fair share of replenishing the population - at a fairly rapid pace. I had some news for Dave about a month after that conversation.

Me: Honey, I have a surprise for you.
Dave: What is it? You found sour skittles!
Me: Um, no. I'm pregnant.
Dave: .............

In that brief moment of silence we see the difference between men and women and their responses to baby news:

It took about two seconds for it to sink in and Dave was thrilled. He would like many, many olive shoots around our table. So, when I'm too tired to have any more babies, I'll go to Ace and buy him some olive shoots. :)

My parents took the news well. We shared our news with them for their anniversary gift.

Mom and Dad: Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dad: Wait...does this mean you didn't buy us an anniversary gift?

We knew it was time to start spreading the news when I started getting sick. Also, they say you "show" earlier and earlier with each pregnancy. What they don't say is that when you have multiple huge babies this close together you never really stop showing.

Cashier: Aw, how far along are you?
Me: ...2 days.

That's ok. It's a small price to pay. God has been so good to us and we are overwhelmed by the blessing of children.

"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127:3

Sick Kids

With three "three and under," we definitely get our share of sniffles and coughs. Thankfully we have never experienced all three sick at the same time. About two weeks ago they took shifts. I hate seeing my kids sick, but I also love taking care of them. Everything else gets put on hold - this is my job and I wouldn't rather be doing anything else. But it presents it's own unique set of challenges each time.

George: Help, Mommy!!!!! I need a tissue!!!
Me: George, you have to wait. I need to give Peter his medicine and then I will help you.

Me: No, that was not an invitation to use my finger as a tissue!

Me: Here, Peter. Take your yummy medicine! Yum, yum!

Ah, the lovely gag reflex.

William: Mommy, I want medicine, too!
Me: Honey, medicine is only for when you are very sick. You don't even have a runny nose.

William: I have FIVE boogies!

While impressed that he was counting, I was unmoved. Some kids beg for medicine and others just can't get it down. William would rather be sick than healthy just so he could have medicine.

The diaper situation is less than pleasant when kids are sick. Thankfully I've never had three in diapers, but I've had two in diapers for most of my (short) parenting career. It's even harder when they resist being changed.

Me: George, did you poop?

Me: Georgie, Mommy asked you a question.
George: I not poopy. I dead.

So, I have kids who would rather be sick than healthy, and rather be dead than...changed? *sigh* There is a vague spiritual parallel in there somewhere, but I'll let someone else dig around for it.

Now they are all back to their smiley healthy selves, asking their mind bending questions. As I was tucking them in last night I reminded them that God made them. William wanted to know if there were any choking hazards in my tummy while he was there, and George wanted to know if God also made his boogies. (Don't subscribe to the Mommy Reel if you can't handle the word "boogies.")

Now they are napping and it's my chance to clean calamine lotion off the couch and see if the lunch food on the floor has sufficiently dried up enough to be swept. Then I'll wait to see which pink, sleepy face appears down the hall first. It's a good life.

A Husband Walks into a Store...

Me: Ok, here's the list! I only need three things and they will be easy to find at Dollar General.
Dave: Yep! No problem.

Me: Hello? Hi, honey. The pasta sauce is on the right next to the pasta, bottom shelf. No, that's way too expensive! Just get the stuff for a dollar a can. Are you sure? That's so weird, they always have it. Oh well, never mind. I don't know why it's so expensive all of a sudden. I'll make due without it.

Me: Hello?
Dave: Hi, honey. I don't see any fresh garlic. All I can find is a jar of minced garlic.
Me: Wow, no garlic? Did you check by the onions?
Dave: Yeah, they don't have anything like that here.
Me: Darn. Well, I'll think of something else. Just get the canned tomatoes.
Dave: Two bucks a can, right?
Me: They are usually a dollar! Yeah, get those I guess. Man, I usually have much better luck there.

William: What are we having for dinner, Mommy?
Me: I'm not sure, sweetie. It's a little up in the air right now.

Cashier: Do you have a CVS card, sir?
Dave: Nope.

Dave: That's funny. I thought Dollar General had green bags.

Dave: ..........

Me: Honey! You didn't have to go to two different stores for me!