Fruit of the Womb

William: Georgie, did you know Jesus walked on water?
Georgie: No. It was juice.

Nothing like a little theological debate to get the morning started.

Dave and I had a debate over an article in the paper a couple months ago.

Me: Honey, did you see this? Americans are currently not having enough children to replace themselves. Our population is shrinking drastically!
Dave: Yep.
Me: Dave...we should do something about this.
Dave: Oh boy. We should have never taught women how to read.
Me: Don't you want to have another baby?
Dave: Honey...I'm playing a video game.

Regardless, the Wallace family is doing our fair share of replenishing the population - at a fairly rapid pace. I had some news for Dave about a month after that conversation.

Me: Honey, I have a surprise for you.
Dave: What is it? You found sour skittles!
Me: Um, no. I'm pregnant.
Dave: .............

In that brief moment of silence we see the difference between men and women and their responses to baby news:

It took about two seconds for it to sink in and Dave was thrilled. He would like many, many olive shoots around our table. So, when I'm too tired to have any more babies, I'll go to Ace and buy him some olive shoots. :)

My parents took the news well. We shared our news with them for their anniversary gift.

Mom and Dad: Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dad: Wait...does this mean you didn't buy us an anniversary gift?

We knew it was time to start spreading the news when I started getting sick. Also, they say you "show" earlier and earlier with each pregnancy. What they don't say is that when you have multiple huge babies this close together you never really stop showing.

Cashier: Aw, how far along are you?
Me: ...2 days.

That's ok. It's a small price to pay. God has been so good to us and we are overwhelmed by the blessing of children.

"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127:3

Sick Kids

With three "three and under," we definitely get our share of sniffles and coughs. Thankfully we have never experienced all three sick at the same time. About two weeks ago they took shifts. I hate seeing my kids sick, but I also love taking care of them. Everything else gets put on hold - this is my job and I wouldn't rather be doing anything else. But it presents it's own unique set of challenges each time.

George: Help, Mommy!!!!! I need a tissue!!!
Me: George, you have to wait. I need to give Peter his medicine and then I will help you.

Me: No, that was not an invitation to use my finger as a tissue!

Me: Here, Peter. Take your yummy medicine! Yum, yum!

Ah, the lovely gag reflex.

William: Mommy, I want medicine, too!
Me: Honey, medicine is only for when you are very sick. You don't even have a runny nose.

William: I have FIVE boogies!

While impressed that he was counting, I was unmoved. Some kids beg for medicine and others just can't get it down. William would rather be sick than healthy just so he could have medicine.

The diaper situation is less than pleasant when kids are sick. Thankfully I've never had three in diapers, but I've had two in diapers for most of my (short) parenting career. It's even harder when they resist being changed.

Me: George, did you poop?

Me: Georgie, Mommy asked you a question.
George: I not poopy. I dead.

So, I have kids who would rather be sick than healthy, and rather be dead than...changed? *sigh* There is a vague spiritual parallel in there somewhere, but I'll let someone else dig around for it.

Now they are all back to their smiley healthy selves, asking their mind bending questions. As I was tucking them in last night I reminded them that God made them. William wanted to know if there were any choking hazards in my tummy while he was there, and George wanted to know if God also made his boogies. (Don't subscribe to the Mommy Reel if you can't handle the word "boogies.")

Now they are napping and it's my chance to clean calamine lotion off the couch and see if the lunch food on the floor has sufficiently dried up enough to be swept. Then I'll wait to see which pink, sleepy face appears down the hall first. It's a good life.

A Husband Walks into a Store...

Me: Ok, here's the list! I only need three things and they will be easy to find at Dollar General.
Dave: Yep! No problem.

Me: Hello? Hi, honey. The pasta sauce is on the right next to the pasta, bottom shelf. No, that's way too expensive! Just get the stuff for a dollar a can. Are you sure? That's so weird, they always have it. Oh well, never mind. I don't know why it's so expensive all of a sudden. I'll make due without it.

Me: Hello?
Dave: Hi, honey. I don't see any fresh garlic. All I can find is a jar of minced garlic.
Me: Wow, no garlic? Did you check by the onions?
Dave: Yeah, they don't have anything like that here.
Me: Darn. Well, I'll think of something else. Just get the canned tomatoes.
Dave: Two bucks a can, right?
Me: They are usually a dollar! Yeah, get those I guess. Man, I usually have much better luck there.

William: What are we having for dinner, Mommy?
Me: I'm not sure, sweetie. It's a little up in the air right now.

Cashier: Do you have a CVS card, sir?
Dave: Nope.

Dave: That's funny. I thought Dollar General had green bags.

Dave: ..........

Me: Honey! You didn't have to go to two different stores for me!